will i still make it tomorrow? will i still be alive?
i had been skipping prayers for two weeks now..
will i become a better person tomorrow? coping with my unfinished homework??
i have tonnes of items in my to-do-list..but it's not improving cuz i'm here, in front of the lap top...writing some thoughts and conflicts in my mind!
will i be able to reduce my tension level, study and catch up with maths homework and literature critics and sociology revision?
will i be mature enough to write a good essay for general paper?
will i ever be able to overthrow my lust for sleeping..?
sleeping had been ruling my life since form 3!
will i be able to be interested in learning tomorrow, so that i could memorize things easily...THINGS - formal education or informal?;
i''m only good at receiving orders and infos but not digesting them and end up forgetting them..
will i ever be able to be active and float myself, doing some dance trick?
will things get better tomorrow, or will they get worse cuz i'm not doing anything to change the procrastination i'm making a habit of..?
sometimes i think i am of no use
well, most of the times,actually..i really wanna look for my SELF..MY REAL SELF!
not the ones inflicted by my mother, impression and status my ego tells me to keep.
i'm not good at producing anything!
i'm still looking for my TALENT!
what do i possess in this life?
my senior raps and writes awesome lyrics,Ciara dances really well,Bill and other artists write good lyrics..everyone is so good at expressing their emotion and thought and make people understand...
but as for me,i'm unused to that..the thoughts linger in my head and stuck up at my mouth! i am unable to word out my thoughts or emotion. drawing? i am bad at it as well..dancing - i wanna try that some time!!! really wanna do hip hop dancing and parkour!
but now my motive in life is to STUDY TESL!!!
i'm a slow learner, i get bored easily..i like physical things..but physical skills dont get u much pay in your working life afterwards.
what i really want in this life is to create something and become the masterpiece of it..but,judging from how i'm treating my study,i'm procrastinating, and even unprepared, or rather, not preparing myself for study..fuck it!i have more than ample time to complete all my homework! bt i;m sitting in front of lap top, you-tubing this and that. (oh,yes,haven't watched the latest annoying orange,gonna yt it now)...
i'd been spending too much time daydreaming, thinking how i will blog and be famous for making reviews..wanna be like teka-teki in K.A.M.I..imagining myself getting a job that'd allow me to get close to tokio hotel...to Bill Kaulitz, actually...crap! writing an essay is already a PITA for me..giving comments on nature photos are hard enough!! how can i be an English teacher??
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